Thursday, July 8, 2010

Mrs. Rosemary A Passage about an experience that made us mad or angry

Once,I was driving to see my wife's doctor at the hospital regarding her prognosis, it was overall a very stressful day because I was anticipating the news not to be good. As I am driving down the road within the speed limit, paying attention to every detail to make sure not to get into an accident. At that time I noticed a car driving very close to me behind me for a few miles. I tried to alert the driver to not stay so close through my mirror,but she did'n seem to care and continued to still do so. All of a sudden a car is stopped right in the middle of the road pass an intersection and as I am trying to step on my brakes to avoid hitting the car in front of me. I got hit by the one behind, I got very angry because this accident could been avoided, and I asked her:" What did you do? you ruined my car, I could have gotten hurt. Why were you tailgating the whole time? are you crazy?.
Posted by at

2 comments:

  1. ELI Spring/SummerJuly 8, 2010 at 6:50 AM

    Edmund this is good start but try to develop the conversations with details of what actually happened before and after the accident to finish the paragraph and refine your tone.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ELI Spring/SummerJuly 13, 2010 at 6:33 AM

    Edmund, you have now included details in the passage to help explain your anger and frustrations. You now need to watch your use of tense. Use the simple plast tense if the action is complete. For example, "As l was driving down the road....." not "As l am driving down the road...." 9/10

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)